Excerpt
We Still Live
Sara Dobie Bauer © 2019
All Rights Reserved
Chapter One
Dr. Isaac Twain stood in a cozy house surrounded by strangers, where a forced jubilation floated like stale smoke. The house was something out of the Shire, a hobbit home for humans, on a hilltop in Lothos, Ohio, overlooking Hambden University’s campus.
Isaac had been dragged around the party earlier and introduced. The head of the English Department called him an “emergency hire.” Emergency because two of their professors had resigned a week before the semester started when they realized they couldn’t come back, not after what happened.
The unfamiliar faces of his new coworkers floated in and out of Isaac’s attention. In the overwarm, crowded kitchen, two older ladies smiled up at him and tried asking about his work, his life—did he have a wife?—but he ducked their questions like a soldier ducks bullets. For a time, he hovered among them with his glass of wine until a delightfully disorganized bookshelf in a room off the main foyer caught his eye, and he took solace.
Stepping inside, he cast a glance over what had to be someone’s office. An antique oak desk anchored the space, though its surface was bare and dusty from nonuse. A couple of framed band posters decorated the walls, but the only name Isaac recognized was Freddie Mercury. Trying not to snoop, he turned his attention back to the initial object of interest.
Books of all shapes and sizes crammed into the shelves at odd angles. Half were alphabetized, as if their owner had once considered organization and admitted defeat. In the top right corner sat a bobblehead, some kind of rodent with a red W on its chest. Isaac bopped the critter on the head, and it nodded in response.
An author named John Conlon dominated an entire half shelf. Isaac grabbed a book with bright binding—young adult, if the cover was anything to go by. He set his glass of wine on the nearby table, empty but for a photograph of a smiling couple with dark hair (whoever lived here was apparently not a fan of clutter) and flipped pages. He read the first line—It wasn’t meant to happen that summer, but by then, Declan understood the things he meant and the things he did were often at odds—until a stranger arrived at his side.
“Hey, newbie. You hiding?”
Isaac looked up to find an overgrown frat boy with spiked blond hair and a square-shaped head staring back at him. “Maybe,” Isaac said. He lifted his chin toward the kitchen. “It’s claustrophobic in there.”
The man shrugged. “What can I say? We’re overbearing, given the right amount of alcohol.” He extended his hand. “I’m Tommy Dewars.”
Isaac slid the Conlon book back where it belonged and accepted Tommy’s greeting. “Isaac Twain.”
“We’re playing the name game later. See if you remember everybody. If you mess up, you’re fired.”
“Yeah, sure.”
He squinted up at Isaac. “Not to be weird, but English professors aren’t usually seven feet of solid muscle.”
Isaac almost choked on his drink. Granted, people often commented on his height and physique, but Tommy’s remark still caught him off guard. “I used to run marathons,” he said. “But I’m a geek on the inside. Promise.” When Tommy smiled, Isaac tipped his head toward the dusty desk. “This your place?”
“Mine? No, God, no. I live in a shithole closer to campus. This is John’s place. He’s driving back from Wisconsin today, but he should be here soon. How long have you been in town? Heard you moved up from North Carolina?”
“South Carolina. Charleston.” He finished half the glass of wine in one go. “I’ve only been here a couple days.”
Tommy’s wrinkled plaid button-down untucked from his jeans when he scratched his belly, and he sipped what appeared to be whiskey. “Why the hell would you move to Ohio from Charleston?”
Isaac shrugged as the boisterous kitchen conversation spilled down the hall. “Change of scenery.”
Somewhere, a glass dropped and shattered. Disinterested, Isaac paid the disturbance no mind so was ill prepared for a sudden assault. He huffed out a breath when Tommy suddenly tackled him to the floor, both their glasses flying. Isaac held his hands up, bracing for a punch…until he realized he wasn’t being attacked.
Tommy, eyes wide, scrambled off Isaac and sat back on his heels. “Shit, I am so sorry.”
Isaac leaned up on his elbows. “You okay?”
Jaw clenched, Tommy sputtered a chuckle. “Apparently not.” He stood and helped Isaac to his feet. He laughed some more and brushed at the front of Isaac’s blazer. “I, uh…” He pressed his lips together and glanced behind him. “New habits, I guess. Jesus.” He smacked Isaac on the shoulder. “Seriously, are you okay?”
Isaac’s heart thudded in his chest, but he still said, “Fine.”
“I need to get you another drink.”
Isaac picked up their dropped glasses, spilled but not broken. “It’s all right.”
“You came at a really bad time, man.”
“I know.” He did know. Well, he knew enough. School shootings were practically a weekly occurrence. Six people had died in a campus shooting at Hambden the spring before, although that was his only detail. Details seemed too heavy, the number of lives lost countrywide like rocks tied to the necks of those drowning in despair.
“What are you teaching this semester?”
“Mostly composition,” Isaac said, silently agreeing to Tommy’s need to just move on and forget about the impromptu tackle. “Guess they want to make sure I know what I’m talking about before they give me upperclassmen.”
Tommy frowned at the empty glasses Isaac placed on a shelf. “Composition. You don’t even get English majors in there. You’ll probably be dealing with a bunch of business nerds trying to learn how to write office memos.”
“Thrilling.”
Close as they were to the foyer, Isaac was the first to notice the front door opening. A student walked inside. The kid dragged a heavy-looking suitcase behind him. Dressed as he was in a slim-fitting button-down, Isaac immediately assumed preppy, although that assumption altered and changed when taking into account the tight black jeans, Converse sneakers, and shaggy hair the color of caramel and chocolate—a mass of waves and curls that fell down the back of his neck but not quite to his shoulders.
The kid pushed his hair out of the way and looked up, eyes finding Isaac and flashing a moment of panicked nonrecognition before seeing Tommy.
“Um.” Isaac pointed toward the new arrival.
Tommy turned and shouted, “John! My man!”
Not a student, then.
Tommy wrapped John in a hug that actually lifted his feet off the ground. Isaac imagined it wouldn’t be difficult. The new guy might have been average height, but he was gangly, skin and bones.
Tommy ruffled his hair. “Have you lost weight?”
John grumbled and scratched his face with his middle finger. “What are you freeloaders doing in my house?” His voice was surprisingly resonant for someone Isaac considered “pretty.” At John’s pronouncement, crows of approval rang from every direction.
“Come meet Isaac,” Tommy said.
John wiped his palms on his jeans before reaching out to shake, and Isaac’s large hand dwarfed his.
“Isaac Twain is the newest addition to our special corner of Hambden hell. Isaac, this is John Conlon.”
John brushed more hair out of his face. “Nice to—”
“John Conlon?”
John and Tommy froze.
Isaac jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “The books on the shelf. Those are yours?”
John’s face, immobile in what looked like dread a moment before, melted into relief, tinged with a bit of blush. “Oh, yeah. You’ve read?”
“No, but I should. You’ve published a lot of books. You must be good.”
John’s nose wrinkled, and he looked away.
Tommy shook him by the shoulders. “John is an amazing writer. He had a story published in The New Yorker when he was, like, five. Are you working on anything right now?”
John glanced at the bookshelf. “Not lately.”
“You need a drink,” Tommy said.
John’s eyes widened on a big breath. “God, yes, I do.”
“Nice to meet you,” Isaac said, but John just nodded quickly, smile thin, before allowing himself to be herded farther into the house toward the sound of quiet laughter and clinking bottles.
Isaac felt it then—an outsider’s emptiness. He became a nervous-looking coat rack in the corner, a terrified tree waiting for the ax. As the party doubled in auditory volume, he bemoaned his spilled wine. Was it okay for him to leave? It wasn’t like he was supposed to make a speech. He was only there because he figured it was the easiest way to meet everyone before the first official faculty meeting, but he’d been standing around too long. He wanted to run.
Out of curiosity, he reopened John’s book from earlier and read the front flap. It was a coming-of-age story about a gay kid in the Midwest. He flipped to the back, and a picture of John stared back at him. He’d assumed the guy was tired when they first met, but no; apparently, John had perpetual bedroom eyes, and his hair was always an artful mess. He skimmed…creative writing professor at Hambden University…gay rights activist…Converse-wearer and “old-people music” enthusiast.
All arrows pointed to John’s probable sexual preference for men. A spark of interest flickered but quickly went out. True, John Conlon was what most people would consider beautiful, but he wasn’t Isaac’s type. John was the kind of man butch guys fought over in gay clubs, but he was too small for Isaac, too fragile-looking, girly. After all he’d been through, the last thing Isaac wanted was someone feminine.
A thin figure ducked into the library and literally hid against the doorframe. He took a long drink of something brown and leaned his head back. “It’s not good when you want to hide in your own house.”
“Library is the best place for it,” Isaac said.
John kicked away from the wall. “Tommy mentioned you just moved here? I’ve been in Lothos forever, so if you need anything…” He examined Isaac from his brown boat shoes to the top of his blond head. John’s large eyes, dark green, seemed bottomless—drowning pools of intellect and soul—only slightly overshadowed by his thick eyebrows.
Isaac took a step backward in response to his inspection. “Um, Tommy mentioned you were on your way back from Wisconsin?”
“I grew up there. My family’s still there. I took the summer… I…um…” He closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I’m usually really good at finishing sentences.”
A bubble of amusement rose in Isaac’s chest.
“You look like I feel.”
“And how do you feel?” Isaac asked.
“Like I want to bury my head in a hole. Or get messy drunk.” He lifted his glass in an unreciprocated toast and drank.
“This is going to sound really insensitive, but can I ask you a question?”
John shrugged.
“The shooting.”
John coughed once, quickly. A loud laugh from the hallway made him startle and look over his shoulder.
Isaac could have backpedaled—should have, based on the way his coworker now resembled a spooked deer—but in for a penny. “Do you mind me asking what happened?”
John stared at him for a long moment before his mouth curved into something like a smile. The intelligent scrutiny of his gaze disappeared in a haze of what Isaac assumed was memory. Then he said, “You don’t know,” with an abundance of relief.
“I know it’s very ignorant of me, and possibly callous, but no.”
John traced his pale finger along the edge of the bookcase. “It was on College Green last June. The College of Arts and Sciences award ceremony. One of our students started shooting, and he eventually shot himself.”
“You were there?”
John laughed, which seemed sorely out of place. “Yeah, I was there. All of us were there.” He leaned closer, so close Isaac smelled bourbon on his breath. “A word of advice: don’t ask anyone else about it unless you’re really good with tears.”
Isaac shifted from one foot to the other. “You’re not crying.”
“No.” He finished his glass and spun around. “I need more alcohol.” It felt like a brush-off, an escape.
“John. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t.” He tapped his palm on the doorframe and looked back. “You know, you don’t have to stay here hiding. It’s painful watching introverts try to acclimate in social situations.”
Isaac smirked. “How do you know I’m an introvert?”
“We recognize our own kind, man. Every day of my life, my mantra is ‘Don’t be awkward.’”
“How’s that working for you?”
“Not well.” John smiled, rows of white teeth on display, and Isaac felt like the sun shined on his face. “Nice meeting you, Isaac. Now, go the fuck home.”
Relieved, Isaac dug his leather coat from the hall closet. Isaac having come from the South, the Midwestern nights chilled his bones. He did his best not to draw attention as he snuck to the front door and out into evening. He glanced back once and pondered John Conlon, a contradiction of a man. Not a student but a teacher; not a yuppie but a man who used “fuck” at faculty parties. Not a friend yet, but maybe.
Sue Ouellet –
This story ended up being so much more than I expected. I knew I was getting a m/m storyline but the depth that I found from this new to me author was perfect. More than your average boy meets boy, boy falls for boy. While the chemistry between John and Isaac is pretty plain to see…what eventually draws them together is pain. Learning to live after tragedy and scandal. Surviving when others didn’t have that chance. Being there for those who need you even when it seems it may hurt you in the end. Forgiving yourself for actions that may have created the events that destroy your life, your mental well being. We Still Live teaches us that despite the pain, we are alive and we must live and thrive.
Joscelyn Smith –
John and Isaac were wonderfully well-written characters, complex and engaging. Their story was compelling as they each dealt with the aftermath of violence and pain that affected their lives. I see the title as their rallying cry, through all the things life threw at them the persevered and continued on no matter how hard it seemed at times. I seriously enjoyed every minute of their journey, this is going on my keeper-shelf.
*I voluntarily reviewed an ARC of this book*
Ana –
?? ????? ???? is written from Isaac’s POV and I admit that I have mix feelings about him. He’s consumed with guilt and nightmares, all of his own doing. Because he’s been a cheater, a selfish user. In my opinion, he shouldn’t of have even started something with John,not before he cleaned all the mess he left behind in his home town. Own up to his mistakes instead of choosing the easy way:running and hiding,trying to pretend he hadn’t caused a lot of hurt.
There was a point in the book that I was very angry and disappointed with him. But he redeems himself with the way he treats John,how he appreciates the precious treasure that John is.
I loved John and it was saddening to watch him dealing with remorse and grief. So brave,powering through the fear,doing his best to offer support despite his own suffering heart and mind. He’s steel and strength under a fragile looking body,resolved to begin anew despite insecurities and apprehension.
Because,after the shooting attack three months prior, its shadow is still looming over the campus. It was heartbreaking to witness the devastation,the various ways it influenced people’s lives, all with different mechanisms of coping with loss and fear.
That’s why ?? ????? ???? is not just Isaac and John’s beautiful romance. The author has also brought forth an array of secondary characters, all amazingly depicted. This is their story,too. A gutting story of an every day struggle to slay invisible monsters, to put to rest all lingering ghosts. A painstakingly slow process for all,but not impossible. Not when there’s someone special to hold you through it,and supporting friends to have your back.
Loved it.
Brandy Horne –
In We Still Live, Sara Dobie Bauer takes that whole notion–that we tend to see ourselves as the heroes of our own stories–and turns it on its head. In this novel, where the “heroes” see themselves as monsters and where the villains are believably sympathetic, everyone is struggling to carry on as best they can, and no one irredeemable.
I’ve been a fan of Sara Dobie Bauer’s work for nearly two years, and one of the things I adore about her writing is the characters she creates. They are all engaging and unique with distinct voices that just feel natural and right. She has a tremendous ear for dialogue that’s snappy and witty without being overwrought. Her characters are charming and hilarious, and I’m drawn in by them. I care about them. I love the relationships she builds for them. In We Still Live, the characters are estranged or separated from their biological families for one reason or another, but they find family in each other, and it’s beautiful. It’s comfortable. This dynamic they develop is what it needs to be…a source of comfort and respite for them and for me as we progress through this often heartbreaking narrative.
I must admit that I went into this novel with some hesitation. Due to the subject matter, I was worried there’d be more angst than I could handle. Having read several things by SDB over the last couple years, though, I trusted that she would find that balance between angst and relief. I was not disappointed. SDB is not an author who confuses gratuitous angst for literary merit, and I’m so grateful to her for that. She has a wonderful sense of humor, and I appreciate that she lets it shine through, especially in a story like this.
I’m in love with John. What a beautifully drawn character. For all his protestations about type and obeying the rules, Isaac never stood a chance. I loved watching their relationship evolve and heat up. The physicality between them is super hot and very satisfying to read. Their dynamic is so incredibly sexy, but also tender and vulnerable, and they’re committed to being there for and taking care of each other as they seek out paths forward out of grief and guilt and self-loathing.
All thumbs up. Eleventy million stars. Would recommend.
Elaine Gray –
A beautiful book that touches on what is happening in this world today: tragedy, suicide, gun violence, PTSD, survival, and guilt.
John is a survivor of a school shooting. Isaac is in the closet but running from his past. As you will see, there is chemistry between these two from the moment they laid eyes on each other. They both have anxieties that they are dealing with in their own way. Tommy and Cleo are the best coworkers/friends and they really had me smiling even when I wanted to cry. The book is filled with lots of angst but it’s still romantic, sweet some funny moments and all the characters are likable. This is the first book I’ve read by this author and I wasn’t disappointed.
Kathryn M –
We Still Live by Sara Dobie Bauer is a standalone, contemporary M/M romance with a friends-to-lovers theme. This book deals with violence, hurt and comfort, mental illness and other hard topics. It gripped me from the start and kept me interested and invested.
The characters feel real and raw, with imperfections, scars and insecure feelings. Isaac and John are well developed characters that pull you into their world and make you feel apart of it. John is dealing with the aftermath of tragic events that happened the year before while Isaac is running from his past mistakes and trying to find a new beginning. Sadly the past has a way of haunting you.. in John’s case that is psychological and emotional while for Isaac it’s a physical presence that tries to disrupt what he is building of a new life. Their connection was strong and beautiful.
The story has angst, drama, pain… it’s about learning to live on, learning to forgive yourself and let yourself heal. Its emotional and wonderful. The story is well written, emotional and the kind that sticks with you even after you read the final page.
ButtonsMom2003 –
A Wonderful, Haunting Story
I wish I knew where to start with this review. We Still Live is my first book by Sara Dobie Bauer so I guess I’ll start with that. Next, I have to say that I was absolutely blown away by this story. It’s deep, and moving, and hard to read in places, but it’s going on my list of favorite books of 2019.
I think We Still Live is two stories in one. On the one hand it’s a love story focused on Isaac and John, on the other it’s a story about the aftermath of a horrible incident on a college campus and the effect it had on students and teachers. There’s a strong theme of recovery.
Isaac has fled his life in North Carolina after a scandal that involved his coming out as gay. John witnessed the shooting on campus and is hailed as a hero for saving student’s lives.
It’s really difficult for me to put into words how I felt when I read this book. It’s the second M/M book I’ve read in the last couple of years that deals with the aftermath of a shooting. These are difficult stories to tell and they are, unfortunately, realistic.
I applaud Sara Dobie Bauer for writing a book that not only deals with difficult subject matter but also doesn’t hesitate to portray the aftermath, including PTSD and mental illness. John suffers significant repercussions from the shooting and we don’t learn the full extent of his issues until well into the story
We Still Live was a very compelling book that I didn’t want to put down but I needed to, just to absorb everything that was happening. I really can’t say enough good things about this book but I know that it won’t be for everyone due to the subject matter.
A copy of this book was provided to me but my review was voluntary and not influenced by the author.
***Reviewed for Xtreme-Delusions dot com***
Krystal –
From the blurb, I expected parts of the story to go a little differently. The plot took an unexpected turn after Simon, the “violent ex” shows up. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. The story was still interesting and enjoyable. It focuses more on pain and healing, but the whole Simon thing was like a firework that turns out to be a dud after you light it. It made me feel like Isaac had been overreacting about his past the entire story. He wasn’t really, but I still feel like he was overly dramatic about it. John turns out to have way more issues and a much longer road to recovery. Isaac is just kind of like, “so I dealt with my past, I’m okay now, so let’s move on to helping John in an almost overbearing fashion.” I loved John. I felt for him. He had a satisfying and believable arc. I get that Isaac felt bad for things and that he was trying to, sometimes literally, run away from his problems, but I didn’t make the emotional connection with his issues that I made with John’s.
That said, I really enjoyed reading this, to the point where I didn’t want to put it down, and I don’t usually enjoy romance-heavy contemporary this much or find it this interesting. John’s road to healing was believable, almost too much so, and there were some other things that happened that showed all the different ways people cope with tragedy, both in good ways and in terrible ways, and while I was expecting some of it, it didn’t happened the way I thought it would, in a good way, kind of. Rough going for the characters, but good and realistic from a story perspective. I thought everyone’s issues were handled well, and the story gave me some things to think about.
Zoi –
A scandal ruins Isaac’s life so he leaves everything behind and goes to Hambden University where he accepts a teaching position. At the University he meets another professor, John. Three months earlier there was a shooter at the school and John stepped in front of him and stopped him. John and Isaac become friends and soon develop feelings for each other but then the problems start.
Do you know what I really really love in books? I love characters that feel like real people. Characters with flaws that try their best and grow with the story. Issac and John are like that, they’re amazing characters and I connected with them immediately. This book pulled me in and I could not stop reading it. It hit me hard and I adored every single word.
I received an ARC of this book for an honest review.
Truus Vermeer de Jong –
John is an enigma, a force, vibrating, sparkling and frolic. Not at all Isaac’ type.
But there is something about him, everybody loves John.
Isaac is the new teacher and John is the darling teacher of the school.
There is a heavy blanket laying upon the school where they work.
After the horrible trauma where John stood eye in eye with a shooter at school, everyone is still shaking. The laughs aren’t always real and the scars are deep. Bit by bit Isaac finds out what happened and the process of John’s mental health which isn’t as stable as Isaac expects.
They are attracted to each other but a relationship is not allowed. So it all stays behind closed doors. Isaac has his pain and secrets, he ran away after a scandal and now his angry ex shows up and threatens to out them.
Very well written. The story is of course about the two men but oh boy there is so much more going on. Traumatized students and teachers, the process of healing, they have a lot to tell. There are humor and sarcasm, also dark depression, the hurt was so palpable, my heart shattered at times.
The difference between all people with their specific characteristics was well done.
All entertainingly written story, the events were well fused.
Isaac and John have engaging personalities, I must say I had my doubts about their relationship, I didn’t think it would hold on because of the circumstances. The hard reality was palpable realistic and made this story into an impressive one that I couldn’t put down.
Belinda Zamora –
What an emotional gut punch!
This book took me on an emotional journey.
It was heavy reading but not overly dark.
How do you recover from such a traumatic event, how do you make sense of it all?
Sometimes the only thing you can do is fight, especially yourself and your own personal demons.
John and Issac were such flawed and realistic characters which made them so much more personable.
Raw and gritty, this book will stay with me for a long time.
Trio –
Days after finishing it, images from Sara Dobie Bauer’s We Still Live are still rolling around in my head. Hopefully revisiting it all for the sake of this review will be cathartic. But more importantly, I hope it inspires you to dive into this powerful, thought provoking novel.
Centered around a community facing life after a horrific school shooting, We Still Live delves deeply into the emotional pain of these characters. We follow this tight-knit group as they process the tragedy, and work to heal so they can carry on with their lives.
Heralded as a hero for his actions during the event, John Conlon is struggling with life after the shooting. A dedicated teacher and a loyal friend, John’s focus is on helping others process their grief. Unfortunately, progress on his own recovery is failing, and burying his emotions in antidepressants and booze is catching up with him.
Hiding from his past and hoping to escape the consequences of his actions, Isaac Twain joins the faculty at Hambden University. One of the most interesting protagonists I’ve read in a very long time, Isaac is a bit self-absorbed and I found it hard to generate much sympathy for his drama. Even once the details of his conduct are revealed he’s not very remorseful, and I enjoyed watching him work his way out of his mess. I couldn’t help but appreciate his unapologetic attitude. He’s ready to make a new life for himself, and that’s what he does.
Isaac’s courtship of John is one of the highlights of this story, and fans of Sara Dobie Bauer’s erotic love scenes will be extremely satisfied! The connection between these two men is immediate and powerful, and watching the changes in their relationship as they explore each other sexually is beautifully portrayed.
Intense and emotional, Sara Dobie Bauer crafts a beautiful story with her wonderfully expressive writing. Dropping Isaac right into the thick of it, and following him as he inserts himself into the core group, helps us identify with everything that’s going on. Something as horrific as a school shooting touches us all, regardless of our connection to the victims and survivors. The themes of grief, forgiveness, and moving on are universal. We Still Live put me through the ringer emotionally, and it’s one hundred percent worth it!
Georgiana –
How does one recover from a traumatic experience?
This emotional rollercoaster was intense at times. Painful and beautiful. The scars people carry when tragedy strikes is real no matter how big or small. This story portrays the insecurities and inner demons of two men who have been through tragedy, in different ways, and how they battle with overcoming them. This isn’t an instant healing romance, heck the characters even to the end have their battles. It’s about dealing with mental health and the trauma that will affects John and Isaac’s lives forever. It’s about LOVE and HOPE.
I absolutely loved reading about John and Isaac. I love the way the author paints a masterful story that pulls you in from the beginning to the end.
I didn’t care for how sudden Simon’s part ended after all the craziness he brings, but this story is so much more than just Simon.
amatate –
I was drawn in by the cover of We Still Live and, as someone who enjoys hurt-comfort romances, the blurb convinced me this was a must read book. We Still Live is my first book by the author and I was impressed with her writing style, the smooth pacing, and the character development. This is definitely a heavy book that addresses a number of pertinent issues in today’s society and readers should heed the trigger warnings (particularly those regarding mass shootings and school violence).
I liked both main characters in We Still Live and thought Isaac and John’s bond that grew in the shadows of their individual pain was admirable. Both John and Isaac are dealing with their own demons and secrets at the start of the book and the way those slowly unfurled made for an interesting read. That said, Isaac’s pain felt very different and almost simpler than John’s, quickly igniting and dissipating to what felt like a footnote by the end of the book. I’m not sure if that’s why I never quite felt as invested in Isaac’s character, or if it was the secrecy surrounding his appearance on campus that gave me pause.
Once Isaac dealt with his past, We Still Live morphed into a book predominantly focused on the aftermath of a school shooting, particularly how John processes the events of that tragic day. Subjects like these are always difficult to navigate, but I appreciated the author’s sensitivity to the traumatic events and the characters’ reactions. I was also impressed that the author represented a wide variety of responses to the tragedy, validating the range of emotions survivors may feel and I thought the way she gave life to those often conflicting feelings via the journal was fantastic. While I liked the main characters and thought their individual stories were well done, it was the entirety of the experience and all the characters that really made this book for me. The secondary characters that surround John and Isaac added substantial depth to the story and main characters, giving a wider scope of the university shooting and its effects and providing an immersing read that caught my full attention. If you’re looking for a raw, vulnerable hurt-comfort romance, We Still Live is definitely worth the read.
Emily Hernandez –
As someone who almost exclusively reads romances, I get comfortable living in a fantasy where every character lives happily ever after and all their problems are solved. This book challenged my expectations. I have so much respect for Sara for addressing gun violence and mental health in realistic ways, not glossing over the pain and long term effects that tragedies have on survivors. I feel like more stories like these need to be told.
That being said, I had a difficult time with the romance aspects of this book. Most of my issues came from the entire story being told from Isaac’s perspective. I wanted to know what was going on in John’s mind, to understand why he made the choices he did throughout the story. It was hard for me to get on board with Isaac and John’s relationship when I had no idea what was going on with John for half the book. Even with Isaac I had a hard time understanding what motivated him. The interactions he had with John before pursuing him felt very un-emotional, like they were barely even friends. Even during their first kiss I felt like they were just strangers. I did eventually warm up to the idea of them as a couple, but it took me a lot longer than it usually does. I also thought that Simon was an unnecessary addition to the book. If you take out the scenes with him in it, the story is basically the same. I can sort of understand that Simon was part of the catalyst for Isaac taking a new job, but I felt like he had enough reasons to leave home even without the extra complication thrown in. All in all, I thought this was an enjoyable, yet weighty read. Don’t pick this book up expecting a fluffy romance. This book dives deep into issues that really matter, and for that I respect it. I just wish I could have understood the motivations of each character better.
**I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.