To Have and to Hold
Tamryn Eradani © 2018
All Rights Reserved
“I can drive myself tonight,” Kyle says as he rummages through his closet for the third time in the past five minutes. Jenny’s been here for fifteen, amused as he worked himself into a panic, but now her arms are crossed over her chest, and she’s moving into impatient territory as he can’t settle on what he wants to wear. “You and Charlotte should head out.”
Tonight, Kyle’s two best friends, Jenny and Charlotte, are meeting his Dom for the first time.
Kyle’s been crushing on Aidan since the first time he saw him at Enchanting Encounters, the kink club he’s been frequenting for years now. After he managed to catch Aidan’s attention, they had a two-week trial period to see if they were compatible beyond physical attraction.
Now that they’ve extended their play to a three-month commitment, Kyle figures it’s time Aidan met the most important people in his life.
Well, that, and Jenny was determined to meet Aidan, whether Kyle was there or not, and he doesn’t need Jenny scaring him off.
“We’re not leaving you behind,” Jenny says. She sprawls across Kyle’s bed, making herself comfortable.
“Absolutely not,” Charlotte agrees, wandering in. She lies down next to Jenny, resting her head on Jenny’s stomach. “I’m not sure you’d ever make it.”
“Besides, if you drive in with me and Charlotte and we have to leave early, then you’ll have no choice but to catch a ride home with your man.”
“Huh,” Kyle says. It’s a good point. It’s a Wednesday night which means Aidan has afternoon classes tomorrow. Maybe he could go home with Aidan. Or have Aidan come home with him. As long as there’s bed sharing involved, Kyle isn’t picky on whose bed they sleep in.
“Never say I don’t do anything for you,” Jenny tells him. Then, “Put down that shirt. It’s basically see-through.”
“It looks good on me,” Kyle points out, but he puts the shirt back because it’s not appropriate for where they’re going. He picks up one of his polos and glances at his small collection of dress shirts. “Is this a date?”
“Ugh,” Jenny groans.
“Would it be bad if it was?” Charlotte asks.
“You’ve already seen each other naked,” Jenny says. “This can’t be more intimidating than that.”
“We haven’t actually seen each other naked,” Kyle says. That is something he’s going to change as soon as possible. “And you’re trying to distract me. Scenes are scenes and dates are dates. They’re different.”
“Put a damn shirt on so we can go,” Jenny says.
Kyle grabs a long-sleeve thermal to throw on. Shirt and jeans on, he only has one thing left to do. “Overnight bag.”
“I take it back,” Jenny says. “You can drive yourself, and every minute you’re late is a minute I have to ask Aidan questions.”
“Nope, you said you were giving me a ride. No takebacks.”
Packing an overnight bag is quicker than dressing himself for this maybe-date. Socks, boxers, pajamas, a black V-neck, his favorite briefs, and a toothbrush. He already has condoms and lube stashed in his bag, and he can’t think of anything else he might need.
“All set,” Kyle says.
“On second thought.” Kyle runs a hand through his hair. “Maybe…”
“No,” Jenny says. She jumps out of bed so she can slam Kyle’s bathroom door shut, cutting him off from his comb and his hair gel, and Kyle dissolves into laughter.
“All right,” Charlotte says, but she smiles at both of them. “Let’s go. We don’t want to be late. I want to make a good impression on Aidan.”
“He’ll love you,” Kyle promises.
Charlotte pats his cheek. “Then there’s nothing for you to worry about.”
Except I want him to love me too.
Kyle links his arm through Charlotte’s. “Come on, I’m in the mood for a beer and pretzels dipped in cheese sauce.”
“Gross,” Jenny says and leads them out the door.
The bar they go to is the one Kyle visits when he wants to yell at his basketball team with other disgruntled fans or when he wants a drink without worrying about hooking up. It’s fairly crowded tonight, because Wednesday nights boast twenty-five cent wings. The only place for the four of them to sit without having to wait is at the bar.
Kyle drops his jacket on their fourth barstool so no one will take Aidan’s seat before he gets there.
He pulls the bowl of popcorn on the counter closer to him and sifts through it until he finds a particularly buttered piece. He’s chewing when a hand settles on his shoulder. He smiles even before he turns and confirms that it’s Aidan.
“Hey,” Kyle says.
Aidan squeezes Kyle’s shoulder and says, “Good evening,” because he always uses more words than he needs to say things. Kyle thinks it’s a byproduct of being a college professor. Or maybe that’s why he became a professor, so he’d have an excuse to talk all the time.
Hand still on Kyle’s shoulder, Aidan reaches his other hand out to Jenny. “I’m Aidan,” he says as if Jenny hasn’t done almost as much research on him as Kyle has.
“Jenny.” She shakes his hand.
Next to her, Charlotte waves. “I’m Charlotte. Nice to meet you.”
Likewise, Kyle mouths because who even says that? Charlotte covers her grin with her hand.
“I hope I didn’t keep you from ordering.” Aidan picks Kyle’s jacket up so he can pull his stool closer to Kyle before he sits down. Their knees touch now, Kyle’s jeans against Aidan’s khakis, and Kyle leans into his side.
“We just got here,” Charlotte assures him.
“I don’t care what you order as long as there are mozzarella sticks and I can have at least four,” Jenny says.
Kyle turns to Aidan and whispers, loudly enough for Jenny to hear, “She’s terrible at sharing.”
Aidan laughs and drops his hand to Kyle’s knee. “I have no feelings on mozzarella sticks, but I prefer my buffalo chicken to be boneless.”
“That takes all the fun out of it,” Kyle says. “Which, I suppose, is why you like them that way.” He laughs as Aidan pinches him and swats him with the menu. “We could just skip the bickering and eat popcorn with our drinks.”
“No,” Jenny says, pointing at him. “We swore after college we would never do that again.”
“We got trashed,” Kyle explains for Aidan’s benefit, “and we decided we were too drunk to find food or even call out for pizza so we’d do something easy. I think we made ten bags of popcorn.”
“And ate all of them,” Jenny finishes. “Not one of our finer moments.”
“No,” Kyle agrees.
“How about the sampler?” Charlotte asks, menu open in front of her. “It comes with mozzarella sticks, buffalo chicken tenders, regular chicken tenders, and onion rings.”
“But only three mozzarella sticks,” Jenny pouts.
“And you love the spring rolls here,” Kyle says.
“I would split spring rolls with you,” Aidan tells Charlotte.
“It’s decided.” Kyle closes his menu. “The sampler and an order of spring rolls.” He rolls his eyes at Jenny. “You can have all the mozzarella sticks.”
“But there’s only three.”
They order their appetizers and their drinks when the bartender swings by, and it isn’t long before Kyle has a rum and Coke with an umbrella sticking out of it.
“You’re a child,” Jenny tells him.
“Umbrellas automatically make any drink cooler.” Kyle eyes Aidan’s beer like he wants to stick his umbrella in it, and Aidan pulls his bottle to safety. Kyle huffs. “Why do I hang out with boring people?”
“I knew I should’ve worn my Pete the Cat sweater tonight,” Charlotte says.
“She’s a children’s librarian,” Kyle tells Aidan, “and has outfits for basically every major series. Wait until you see her Charlotte’s Web getup.”
“It’s funny because my name is Charlotte,” she explains.
Aidan grins and takes a sip of his beer.
“If we’re talking poor fashion choices then I should break out the pictures from Kyle’s fishnet phase,” Jenny says.
“Are you saying you don’t like my work-appropriate sweaters?” Charlotte asks.
“Uh,” Jenny says.
“I was a teenager,” Kyle tells Aidan. “Lestat was a formative influence on me.”
“The fishnet and mesh shirts stuck around for a while,” Jenny says, her arm draped over Charlotte’s shoulder now. “Thankfully, your attempts at singing did not.”
“I have a beautiful voice,” Kyle says. “We should’ve gone somewhere with karaoke.”
“No,” Jenny and Charlotte say at the same time, forceful enough that Kyle’s feelings are a little hurt.
Aidan pats Kyle’s thigh, a reminder that Kyle has one person here who’s guaranteed to be on his side.
He still takes a sulky sip of his drink.
His real revenge, though, comes when he swipes a mozzarella stick from their sampler. He takes an obnoxious bite and grins at Jenny while he chews.
“You don’t even like mozzarella sticks.”
“Worth it,” he says before handing the half-eaten appetizer to Aidan. “Here, I don’t like these.”
Aidan bursts out laughing.
“No, don’t encourage him.”
“Too late,” Kyle says, smirking as he leans back against Aidan’s chest. “He likes me just the way I am.”
Later, once they’ve finished their food and are mostly done with their second drinks, Jenny and Charlotte go to the bathroom together.
“Lucky guys,” a man passing by them says. He nods toward the little hallway Jenny and Charlotte disappeared down.
Kyle looks at the man. His business suit is wrinkled at the elbows and behind the knees. He sounds completely sincere as if he doesn’t notice how Kyle’s pressed up against Aidan’s side or how Charlotte and Jenny held hands as they navigated the crowded bar.
“Yeah,” Kyle says. “We’re real lucky.”
The man in the suit nods as if he’s done something good and wanders away.
“Does this happen a lot?” Aidan asks.
“A fair amount. We usually have a couple laughs about it later. But if the assumptions bother you, then I can kiss you.”
Aidan’s eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer later.”
In private, because exhibitionism isn’t a thing for him the way it is for me.
“Speaking of, Jenny gave me a ride here, if you want to drive me home. To either of our homes.”
“More of your clever planning?” Aidan asks, teasing.
He never should’ve told Aidan about his plan to get his attention through a series of public scenes at Enchanting Encounters. It’s opened him up to being teased for the rest of his life. Though, since his plan worked, he doesn’t mind the teasing too much.
“Jenny’s idea, actually.” Because he knows he’s pushy sometimes, he adds, “I can catch a ride back with them. Or you can drop me off. I know we didn’t have anything planned.”
“Do you want to do something?”
“Sleep in a bed with you,” Kyle answers which isn’t the sexy or fun answer but is the honest one. “I wouldn’t say no to anything else, but I know you have work tomorrow.”
“Work in the afternoon.” Aidan pulls Kyle closer to him and Kyle rests his head on Aidan’s shoulder. “We could talk about something tonight and do it tomorrow morning. Or we could just sleep.”
Kyle hasn’t known Aidan long enough to read him and know what Aidan would rather do. Kyle would be happy with either, but he’d be happiest with what Aidan wants. He knows better than to say that, though. Aidan’s last sub, Simon, did a real number on his head. The kid had been new to the scene and wanted Aidan to like him so badly he agreed to things he didn’t want because he thought it would make Aidan keep him.
It means Kyle has to be careful he doesn’t dip too far into that territory. Most of the time, it isn’t a problem. Kyle usually has clear ideas of what he wants and when he wants it, but tonight, he doesn’t want to make the decision.
If he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t want to push for too much.
He knows exactly what he wants; Aidan in his bed so tomorrow morning he can make him breakfast and maybe exchange some lazy kisses in the shower before he sends Aidan off to work, but that seems like it’s moving too fast.
But if Aidan offers it…
He won’t be a coward.
He turns so he and Aidan are facing each other. “Yes, on sleeping together. We can talk out the rest of it when we’re home. Your place or mine?” He summons his sleaziest grin in an effort to tempt a smile back onto Aidan’s face.
Aidan smiles and shakes his head, aiming for disapproving but landing closer to fond. “Yours? That way, I can leave for work without worrying about how to get you back to your place.”
“Plus, I have real food in my fridge.”
“You’re cooking for me?”
“One of the many services I have to offer.”
Kyle smiles and leans in, hoping for a kiss, but they’re interrupted by Jenny’s, “Ugh,” as she drops into her seat. “We came back at the wrong time.”
Kyle rolls his eyes. “We’re talking about breakfast. Relax.”
“So you don’t need a ride home, then?” Charlotte asks.
Kyle has a joke about riding on the tip of his tongue, but Aidan says, “We’re all set but thank you,” before he can make it.
“We should do this again,” Charlotte says. “It was fun.”
“Game night?” Kyle asks. “Wine and Scrabble? We haven’t done that in a while.”
“Mr. Professor over there might have an advantage,” Jenny says.
Kyle rolls his eyes. “Charlotte’s a librarian. The game might actually be interesting for once.”
“Hey!” Jenny protests.
Kyle grins as he tells Aidan, “I like to make tiny words that block off the board.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
Kyle pulls his wallet out, pleased to see his friends get along. He tosses a couple of bills on the counter and waves Aidan off when he reaches for his wallet. “I covered our half.” He can’t keep the smile off his face, and Jenny groans.
“This might be worse than the pining.”
He cheerfully flips her off. “We’re going now. I’ll text you about lunch tomorrow.”
Kyle slides off his stool and kisses Charlotte’s cheek and hugs Jenny before he follows Aidan out of the bar. In the parking lot, he wraps Aidan’s arm around his waist.
“This okay?” Kyle asks.
Aidan tugs him closer and hooks his thumb through Kyle’s belt loop. “It is now.”
Kyle’s tempted to stop in the middle of the parking lot and kiss him, but he knows better than to start something he won’t be able to finish. It’ll be more fun to wait until they’re in Kyle’s apartment where Kyle can kiss Aidan for the first time against his door and against his island counter and on his couch and in his bed.
Kyle grins and quickens his step.
It’s a short drive to Kyle’s apartment, and Kyle directs Aidan to the empty spaces in front of Building 3, and maybe he directs Aidan to park next to his car. It makes something flutter in his chest to see their cars side by side, and he’s glad the dark hides the goofy smile on his face.
They don’t touch on their way to Kyle’s apartment, and Kyle’s not sure if it’s Aidan’s dislike of public displays of affection or something different, but he follows Aidan’s lead and keeps his distance until they’re inside the apartment.
Once the door closes, though, Kyle pushes into Aidan’s space, demanding to make up for lost time.
Aidan’s overnight bag thuds softly as it hits the ground, straps slipping out of Aidan’s fingers as soon as Kyle pushes him up against the door. First location checked off the list, Kyle thinks as he kisses Aidan with enough force to catch him off guard. It doesn’t take long for Aidan to catch up, wrapping an arm around Kyle’s waist to pull him closer.
It’s an encouragement, and it makes Kyle bold enough to push for more. He takes every inch he’s given and slides his thigh between Aidan’s to take more. He grinds his thigh against Aidan’s cock, half-hard and growing harder, and Kyle groans into the kiss. The only way they could be closer would be if they lost their clothes and…well, that’s not a bad idea.
Kyle keeps one hand tucked into the back pocket of Aidan’s pants. The other is at the hem of Aidan’s shirt, trying to shove it up and off. He doesn’t get far before Aidan spins them so it’s Kyle with his back against the door.
It isn’t a bad position, trapped between the solid wood of the door and the solid press of Aidan’s body but then Aidan pins Kyle’s hands against the door, and he can’t help his whine. He pulls against Aidan’s grip, half because he wants Aidan to hold him down harder and half because he wants to break free.
“I want to touch you,” Kyle says, turning his mouth away from Aidan’s. “Please, I’ll make it so good.” He flexes his fingers, straining for something he’s not allowed to have. He kisses Aidan’s neck, careful not to suck too hard or use his teeth because Aidan has to stand in front of a classroom of college students tomorrow. “Let me? Please?”
There are so many places he could touch if his hands were allowed to roam beneath Aidan’s shirt. And if Aidan took his shirt off, then Kyle could leave all the marks he wants. Red lines from Kyle’s nails down Aidan’s back and little bite marks above the cut of his hips.
Kyle wants Aidan splayed across his bed, hair sex-mussed, lips swollen from being kissed, and a myriad of marks left by Kyle’s nails and teeth covering his body. He wants Aidan exhausted and pleased and to hold his arms open for Kyle to join him.
He kisses the underside of Aidan’s jaw, and it’s a struggle to keep from digging his teeth into the skin there, from leaving a mark which says he’s mine, back off.
“Please,” Kyle says again and when he closes his eyes his lashes sweep against Aidan’s skin.
Aidan lifts Kyle’s hands off the door, and Kyle feels a surge of victory before Aidan places them on his torso instead.
Above his shirt.
At least Kyle can feel the tremble of Aidan’s body beneath his hands, the only sign that Aidan’s even as close to affected as Kyle is.
“You can have what I offer you,” Aidan says. “Nothing more.”
“Seriously?” Kyle asks, sliding his hands over the fabric of Aidan’s shirt. “Are you sure this isn’t a thing?”
In all the time they’ve been together—admittedly, it’s not very much—they’ve never been completely naked together. Kyle wants to see and touch and taste. He wants Aidan stripped for him so he can try to soak in his fill.
Kyle’s been fucked by Aidan, and he’s blown him, but he’s never seen Aidan’s dick. He’s never even seen the man shirtless, and at this rate, Kyle’s afraid these next three months will be more of the same.
“The clothes?” Aidan asks with a grin. “Or denying you things you want to watch you work yourself up over them?” He trails a finger down the slope of Kyle’s jaw. “Because that’s definitely a thing.”
Kyle groans and slumps against the door. So much for a quiet night at home.
Aidan laughs, his breath hot against Kyle’s cheek. “I thought you wanted to touch me.” There’s a challenge in his words.
“I do.” But he knows himself, knows he could easily get lost in touching and kissing and lose track of time. “But I was also promised a bed.” He nudges Aidan’s bag with his foot. “Pajamas and then we can pick things up where we left off?”
“Sounds good.” Aidan drops a light kiss on Kyle’s mouth before he takes a step back. “And we should talk about this more. We also promised a discussion when we arrived.”
“Oops.” Kyle runs a hand through his hair. “Do you want the bathroom first? Or do you want me to close my eyes until you tell me you’re dressed?”
“Hilarious,” Aidan says.
Kyle grins. “One of my many charms. Come on, I’ll give you the brief tour of the apartment and then we can get back to kissing. Question, though, the clothes thing. Can I sleep shirtless or does your Victorian kink go both ways?”
“Brat,” Aidan says, and Kyle laughs and grabs his hand to lead him into the kitchen.