Excerpt
Besties in Crime
Rob Loveless © 2026
All Rights Reserved
Chapter One
After their half-assed whirlwind heist, Jay and Gia had finally been caught and detained in a musty abandoned warehouse, with six somber-looking men staring them down. The two friends were trapped, tied up to rickety chairs side by side. Fear and adrenaline surged through their frail, weary bodies as they pleaded for their lives.
“Frank took me off the joint account,” Gia explained.
“Which is why we robbed him,” Jay said.
“How much did you get?” one of the henchmen asked.
“About two thousand dollars,” Gia replied.
The boss heaved a sigh and shook his head. “Fucking pennies.”
“What are we gonna do, Boss?” the minion wondered. The boss signaled to his other goons, and they huddled together to discuss their predicament.
Gia took advantage of their lapse of attention and leaned toward Jay. “I think I have an idea to get out of here. But you can’t get all panicky on me.”
“Gia, are you sure? These guys are armed. And if we make one mistake, just one—”
“I just told you not to be panicky,” she replied, cutting him off before nodding to the left. “You see that machine over there?”
Jay glanced over and eyed a large, rusted lathe several feet away. “Yeah.”
“If I distract them, would you be able to take cover behind it?”
“But how—?”
“No time for questions. Just tell me if you can.”
Jay took another look at the decrepit piece of equipment. At that distance, he could probably hobble to it pretty quickly—at least as quickly as his restraints would allow. “I think I can.”
“Okay,” Gia whispered. “Then do it on my signal.”
“What’s the signal?”
“Trust me, you’ll know.”
Jay gulped as a light sweat broke out on his forehead. Even though Gia was his best friend, he didn’t exactly trust her with his life right now.
“All right,” the boss said as he clapped his hands together and turned around to face them. “We’ve got a solution.”
“Why do I not feel comforted by that?” Jay whispered to Gia.
“Under the circumstances, the bank will give you access to the account as long as you go to the branch you opened it at,” he continued.
“That’s three hundred fifty grand,” the lead henchmen said.
“And how are we supposed to get you the remaining hundred thousand?” Gia asked.
The boss shrugged. “Don’t you two have savings accounts?”
“Clearly you never had student loans,” Jay replied.
“Look, I don’t care how you do it. Just get me the fucking money. Today.”
“Today!” Gia exclaimed. “What time is it?”
“A little after eleven,” the minion replied.
“Most of the banks close by one!” Jay said.
“Again, that’s your problem to fix,” the boss said. “The sooner I get my money the sooner we can leave all this behind us.”
Jay grew defensive and began to counter. “And how do you expect the two of us—?”
Gia’s stomach churned loudly again, and her face grew hot with embarrassment as all eyes fell upon her. “Um, excuse me. Is there a bathroom here I can use?”
The boss recoiled, bemused by her request. “Are you fucking serious?”
“Yes, I am. I have IBS,” she replied.
“So?”
“I have IBS, and I’m extremely anxious right now,” Gia said. “That’s not a pretty combination—for anyone.”
“That is absolutely true. She spent the majority of her rehearsal dinner in the bathroom,” Jay said.
Gia rolled her eyes and turned to her friend. “Was that absolutely necessary?”
“What? I was trying to help.”
The boss buried his face in his hands and released a chuckle of disbelief. “You gotta be fucking kidding me with this.”
Gia’s aching stomach groaned once more. “Please?”
“Fine, whatever,” he said, signaling to his goon. “Take her to the john.”
The henchman grimaced and strode past his boss to release Gia. He untied the rope binding her wrists and ankles and lifted Gia to her feet. As he was about to lead her away, she spun around and in one swift motion snatched the grunt’s gun from his side holster before kicking him square between the legs. He squealed in pain and collapsed to the ground while Gia pointed the firearm at the boss.
Jay released a gasp of astonishment. “Gia!”
“Jay, that was the signal,” she groaned, casting a quick glance in his direction.
“Oh!” With that, Jay shuffled across the floor while his chair scratched obnoxiously against the concrete until he finally reached safety behind the machine.
The posse of henchmen stood behind their leader and reached for their guns with speedy reflexes, but he seemed unconcerned and laughed. “Take it easy, toots.”
“I want the keys to your car,” Gia said with a hardened expression on her face.
“And her phone too,” Jay chimed in from behind the lathe.
“Or what?” the boss asked. “You gonna shoot me?”
The goon recovered from the strike to his manhood and slowly climbed to his feet. “Put the gun down before someone gets hurt.”
“I said I want the fucking keys and phone!” Gia replied, firmer this time.
“Come on, put it down,” the boss said. “You don’t even know how to use that thing.”
Gia sighed and rolled her eyes before she disengaged the safety and fired a bullet into the minion’s foot at point-blank range. He cried out and crumpled to the ground with tears in his eyes as the shot’s echo hung in the air.
Jay flinched in shock from the deafening bang of the gun.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” the boss exclaimed as he regarded Gia with a bit more credibility.
She ignored the henchman at her feet and turned to face his superior once again. “I am a twenty-eight-year-old, widowed divorcée who hasn’t been touched in fourteen months. Don’t fuck with me!”
“Okay, okay! Take it easy,” the boss said.
Gia cocked the gun and aimed it at his chest. “The keys.”
“And phone,” Jay said.
“Fine, okay. Here,” he said and snapped his fingers.
Another of his goons stepped forward and displayed her phone and a set of car keys. He placed both on the ground and slid them across the floor. They skidded to a halt at Gia’s feet, and she eyed the boss and his grunts warily, discerning her next move. After a moment’s pause, she squatted to retrieve the loot while keeping tabs on the men standing across from her.
As she reached for the phone, the boss snapped his fingers again, and his men whipped out their guns and were ready to fire. Gia snatched the possessions before diving headfirst toward the lathe as the first wave of bullets soared overhead. She dodged them and crawled to safety behind the machine with Jay.
Once she was concealed, she loaded the gun and risked a quick glance around the corner of the machine. Acting swiftly, she leveled the gun, took a quick breath, and pulled the trigger before retreating behind cover once more. The bullet tore across the warehouse and struck the shoulder of one of the goons, who fell limp.
“Jesus Christ, that thing is loud,” Jay exclaimed, covering his ears. “Where did you learn to do that?”
Without looking at him, Gia inspected the cartridge to determine how much ammunition she had left. “I told you that my dad and I go to the gun range every Father’s Day.”
“I know, but I didn’t think I was sharing my apartment with Rambo.”
“Make all the jokes you want, but the gun range seemed to pay off, wouldn’t you say?”
“Sure, but now what? They’re blocking the way out.”
While Jay and Gia were temporarily sheltered behind the dilapidated piece of equipment, the fact was that the only exit was now blocked by a barrage of gunfire and a handful of mobsters. With every ticking second, their chances of survival seemed to dwindle. A few days ago, they were just two jaded millennials, commiserating as they tried to piece together the jagged shards of their shattered love lives. How had things gone so wrong?
Reviews
There are no reviews yet.